Sunday, July 16, 2017

Yoshiette Adventures Year 2 #4: Yoshiette & the 5 Spider Men: Part 2: Convention Chaos

In the Sim City Justice System, Logic doesn't matter, until logic matters... Some of the heroes are idiots...

PREVIOUSLY ON YOSHIETTE ADVENTURES...

SimCity Comic-Con goes all loney tunes, while playing 9001 pixie stix, and on.. Back to the segment...

Tokugawa Studio: 9:45 AM

Joe T.: Dear Weekly Shonen, Jump Here's my twent...

Clippy: It looks like you're writing a letter would you like some...

Buzz Lightyear: Hold it, space alien?

JT: I have no time for this... *pushes Clippy and Buzz off the table*

Duck Nukem: Ranfan cosplayer, can I have your picture, preferably of you stri...

Ranfan Cosplayer: PISS OFF, Yoshi Team Loon!

DN: IT'S TEAM YOSHI, YOU MORON!!!!!

Alright Joey, not every cosplayer wants... to... Joe... JOEY!!!!

Joe Tokugawa's current location: 10:12 AM

JT: Do you have a set of Sailor Moon Lingerie?

Sailor Moon Cosplayer: SECURITY!!!!!

Front of Convention: 10:49 AM

Yoshiette 1: Oh dear, It's Grimlord, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Pokemon RGBY Vs. Trainer theme Plays*

Grimlord: *Lifts up Mask* Actually, I'm just a cosplayer, and You kicked a Ranfan cosplayer, she's not to pleased right now...

YE1: How do you know?

Grimlord Cosplayer: It was on the TV earlier, NOT F*CKING OKAY!!!!!!

YE1 It wasn...

Grimlord Cosplayer: Go talk with someone else.

Toku SuperStore Booth: 11:00 AM

YE1: Have you seen Wolverine? Maybe he can chop off the heads off these 5 Spidey-Bastards.

Cashier: Sorry I only Specialize in Toku, I did see however a mix of a Green MMPR Ranger, A White MMPR Ranger, and a Red Zeo Ranger, ask him where ever he is...

DN: *via walkie talkie* Saw the orange street shark in quadrant alpha, what should I do?

YE1: Grab a piece of Drawing paper plus a magnet, and suck him back in!

DN: *via walkie talkie* Ten four, Yoshibeth..

YE1: IT'S YOSHIE... AH, F*CK IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Beta Quadrant: 11:09 AM

JT: Oooooooooo...... *talks into Walkie Talkie* Yoko Littner, can I ask her to show her Bam-bams?

YE1 & DN: FOCUS!!!!

One putting the character back onto the page later...

JT: The Flesh is heading to Gamma Quadrant time to chase this naked moron...

The Flesh: You can't catch m... Uh-Oh...... *just before returning to the page* Ouchies!

JT: Now onto the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Door from convention to McDonalds 11:30 AM

Jara: I'd love to see who likes these out...

DN: BANZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Bonks on Noxic's Head like a baboon*

Typhus: We're on your side, Bud!

Noxic: Get off, Pig!!!!

Jara: These are just costumes... *unmasks herself to reveal MarzGurl* See?

*Yoshiette Runs to the door*

YE1: It's You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You and You!!!!!

Kaylyn: You aren't one of AnonymousYoshi's cronies who...

YE1: Yep.

Kaylyn: Just stay good and I'll stay friends with you...

*Noxic Takes off mask*

JT: Linkara?

Lewis: Don't gimme Sh*t over...

JT: EULA Accepted!!!

DN: If You're Marzgurl, and you're Linkara, who's that?

*Typhus unmasked to reveal...*

DN: Yep, no one I know?

???: Maybe this'll ring a bell...

*Puts on beret and eyepatch Apollo Z. Hack*

*Apollo Z. Hack theme plays*

YE1: Apollo
JT: Z.
DN: Hack!!!!!

YE1: Let's Kick some ass!!!!

Team Drew, search the front of the convention, Team Roland Put on these masks and wait for the Spider-Men, Jara and I (aka Team Jo) will look in the back half of the convention?

Near the Body Pillow Salesman's Booth: 12:00 PM

JT: Ramenman and Brocken Jr.!!!!!

Noxic: Who and Who?

Ramenman and Brocken Jr.: Double Flying Leg Lariat!!!!!

JT: NOT TODAY!!!! *Puts the 2 back into the drawing Page*

Frederator Booth Convention: 12:08 PM

Jara: Come here, BITCH!!!!

Rosie: *claps hands and Giggles* Bich, Bich....

YE1: Uh-oh... Someone's so grounded... *Pulls magnet and paper out*

Rosie: No, No!!!!!! *starts to cry*

Jara: Who's Idea was it to get someone to draw a...

YE1: Enough talk, ONLY DO!!!!

Center of Convention: 12:13 PM

*The 5 Spider-Men appear*

Apollo Z. Hack: Let's Kick some ASS!!!!

Shin Revuer #1 XX Version V2 EX Beta!!!

Random Guy Popup Guy: Toasty!

Creepy Bootleg Anime VHS Indian Guy's Booth: 12:34 PM

YE1: Welp, we got Sailor Venus and Jupiter in one fell swoop, Completing the Sailor Senshi, Now onto Arale Norimaki.

*The Five Spider-Men appear*

We know who you guys are, but weren't you occupied with Duck and Ap...

Armored Spider-Man: Our Spider Senses found you, Hell those Masks were a dead giveaway. here's the ultimate Counter attack!!!

Japanese Spider-Man: Spider GP-7 RX!!!!

*Spider GP-7 RX Enters NEO Leopaldon!!!!!*

Change NEO Leopaldon!!!

Jara: Yikes! You're on your own at this point.

YE1: Inyuk Chuk!!! *Grows Giant*

Now What powers does NEO Leopaldon have, and how do I maneuver through them?

*Iron Spider inserts tape then a beatnik english cover of the Supaidaman that A. Yoshi sung while Yoshiette 1 Plays the bongos*

All 5 Spider-Men: Super Arm Rockets!!!!

*Yoshiette evades them*

YE1: Nice try, but I know how these things work!!!

*Arm Rockets head to the head*

Ouch!

Spider-Man Team: Supersonic Arc Turn!!!!

*Supersonic Arc Turn cuts through Yoshiette's clothing*

YE1: Damn you!

Spider-Man Team: Leopaldon Net!!!

YE1: You Bastards!!!!

Spider-Man Team: Now time for the Finisher!

Sword Vigor Victory!

YE1: Oh dear, that could slice me in half!!! I Know, I was the one who invented the Robot for a fanfic made out of a dare!!!!

Gotta get my Shrink Gun Charged before I go Bye Bye...

92%, 93%, 94%...

Spider-Man 2099: Cancel the function before Yoshibeth charges fully!!!!! HURRY!!!!

YE1: 97, 98, 99, boom you're history!!!!!

*fires shrink gun*

*Spider-Man team jumps out*

*NEO Leopaldon changes to toy size*

Black Suit Spider-Man: Yoo-Hoo!!!!! Yoshibe...

The reviewer/Magnavore Cosplayers + JT + DN: Back to the comics with ya!!!

Japanese Spiderman: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII... *all 5 Spider-Men Goes back on the paper*

*Yoshiette turns back to normal size*

The 6 Heroes: Now Lastly... Zedd and Vexor!!!!

Veronica M.'s Booth: 3:01 PM

Back to the pages with ya!!!!!!

YE1: Huh? How did we only get 6 parts of Zedd, but not Vexor?

JT: I Think I know why... *rips curtain door*

???: Uhhhh...... Hi?

JT: Who is this kid?

??? + Vexor: Ignore th guy in the booth, he's only an illusion

YE1: Joe, hold down the scrawny kid! Duck, destroy the machine inside the kid's booth! Linkara, use your magic gun to blast robo Vexor's mask of! Marzgurl Rip Robo Vexor's arms off! Apollo once the decoy is weak enough, Use your finisher! I'll tell security about the craziness going on in the convention...

Epilogue:

After the convention

YE1: Ya know, I learned something from This convention.

JT: What's that?

YE1: You can't change your past, but you can affect the future...

DN: That is if your name isn't James Rolfe, who must have loads and loads of save files, and based off his Mega Man episode (with a lot of them being on Playstation consoles), that might be taken quite literally...

JT: But didn't he...

YE1: Bus is here!!!

Later at the Ranfan cosplayer's apartment...

Dear SCCC, FBI, and Interpol;

Cosplayer: Some kid in a blue morphsuit kicked me. I wonder if it was a spy for A. Yoshi's personal benefit. If you have any news on that crimin...


*computer screen blue screens for no reason*


AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


THE END?

Yoshiette Adventures Year 2 #3: Yoshiette & the 5 Spider Men

ABSOLUTELY NOT FOR CHILDREN!!!!!








Yoshiette 1: Ahhhhh.... Simcity Comic-con, just one of many conventions Yoshi-poo can't go to for one reason or another. This Year, It's because It's his big return month and he's doing house keeping for the time when Joe-sama's doing his own booth here, Duck Nukem's helping him not getting into any mischief (if you count lookung look up at skirts and asking girls to lift up their shirts as mischief), and my sister's taking Striptease classes for the summer... I'm so happy to see him to ask for art.

At Tokugawa's booth

Five spidermen please.

Joe T.: I'm sorry, but I only do manga characters.

After a few more no's, Yoshiette found an artist named Veronica M.

Veronica M.: *In a brooklyn accent* How can I help you?

YE1: One picture of Team Yoshi along with A. Yoshi's favorite characters Please?

VM: List them all.

YE1: Mouseketeer Roll Call!

One long list later

VM: Anything else?

YE1: 5 Spidermen please?

VM: More specific please?

YE1: Japanese Spider-Man, Black Suit, Iron Spider, Spider-Man 2099, and Armored Spiderman.

VM: $200 please...

YE1: *Hands the money to Veronica*

*whispers into camera* Glad I Sold that pair of Shimapan with Period Blood That Joe-sama didn't want,,,

Nice Vexor Costume Dude... Very authentic.

VM: See ya tomorrow.

That night

Vexor: Characters, Arise...


*Dimensionally confused characters get out of the paper*


The next day.

Black Suit Spider-Man: Wakey Wakey, Eggs and Bakey...

YE1: *Yawns* Ohayo Gozaimasu.

2099 Spiderman: Sorry, None of us speak Chinese.

Duck Nukem: Bonzai!!!!!!!!!!


*Rips part of Black Suit Spiderman's Mask*


YE1: OH GOD!!!!!!!!!! He has no face?

Back at Veronica's booth

YE1: Lord Zedd? Why the Falkner are you here?

Vexor: Zedd's A good friend of mine, and Veronica is currently in Jail for 90 days. Here's a picture of her without her Green Beetleborg mask.

YE1: Oh dear, It's Rebecca from my Community College.


*The five Spider-Men appear from the ceiling*


Japanese Spider-Man: We are the emissaries from Hell, Spider-Men!


*Japanese Spiderman theme plays*


Alpha Team, handle Zedd. Beta Team, handle Vexor, Yoshibeth look for Escapees...

YE1: IT'S YOSHIETTE, YOU FRAKKING MORON!!!!!!!!

TV: This is Comic-Con news, Yoshibeth is currently looking for These characters all around the convention, If you see any Dimensionally confused characters Like The 5 members of the Action League (Chuckimation sized of course), or any 2D or CGI characters in a 3D world, contact Yoshibeth. Also There's a 2D baby around a year old with Orange hair and Yellow outfit who's walking around and needs a nap.

YE1: Da F*ck?

Zedd: Now Spider-Men, turn on Yoshiette. *uses spell on the 5 Spider-Men*

YE1: Dude, It's a cosplay of Dragon Ball's Ranfan. That's not something you see every day. Video of you doing Ranfan's trademark technique, please?

Ranfan Cosplayer: ½ a Bitcoin for a dirty talk Cam Show, 1 Bitcoin for a non nude striptease with the best bra and Panties a Ranfan cosplay could use, and 2 bitcoins for a Full nude show, ad an extra ½ bitcoin for masturbation, also ask about any customizations to your liking (within reason), my broch...


*The 5 evil Spider-Men appear*


Japanese Spider-Man: *kicks cosplayer* You have no business with Yoshibeth!

YE1: 5 vs 1, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Will Yoshibeth...

YE1: YOSHIETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, Will Yoshiette win a 5 vs 1 win a battle against the 5 Spider-Men, and put the characters from Veronica's Drawings back to their respective pictures where they belong, or will Spider-Man's reputation get so ruined that he's retconned out of the Marvel multiverse? Stay tuned sometime later this month TODAY for the conclusion of "character no one likes" Adventures Spinoff Blog Whatever Thingy SVU Episode Unlucky 13: Lightning Returns!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Yoshiette Adventures Year 2 #2: Yoshiette vs Pepsiman: Part 2: Pepsiman's Revenge

In honor of The Power Rangers Reboot Movie's release in America and Chou Super Hero Taisen's Release in Japan ON THE SAME WEEKEND!!!

PREVIOUSLY ON YOSHIETTE ADVENTURES...


Pepsiman rises from the dead, and Seeks revenge Against Team Yoshi, and Yoshiette 1 lets him in Team Yoshi HQ, without knowing what his true intentions. Thanks to Yoshiette 2's Stupidity, Pepsiman Gets Mad!!!!! Back to the story...



Joe T.: How could a superhero become worse than Hitler, Stalin, and Trump combined over a mask pull?

Pepsiman: I was never friends with any of you. I came to A. Yoshi's place to get revenge.

Phone: Ring! Ring! Ring! Phone Call! Phone Call! Ring! Ring! Ring! Phone Call! Phone Call!

*Yoshiette 1 Picks up the phone*

Yoshiette 1: What do you want?

A. Yoshi: I'm on the plane trip home so I should be no more than a couple hours away. can you pick me up at the airport?

YE1: Kind of busy right now, so if I can't make it, call an Uber or something,

AY: GOD, YOU PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES!!!! *hangs up*

YE1: Stupid, arrogant, Entitled Piece of Shi...

Pepsiman: So If you're done talking to your friend, can we continue with the exposition?

YE1: *nervously* Sure?


Pepsiman: Well Then...

1994, Travis Charest designed me, and I was on commercials in Japan, cans of Pepsi in Japan, Action Figures and even a videogame. As the new millennium was getting Closer and Closer, I gained fans across East Asia, I even had a Pepsilady in at least one Commercial. We did get married in 2002, and grew old with each other. However, last year, my Thirst senses were tingling once more and I noticed The Thirst was coming from Simcity, I rushed to this building, I pressed all the buttons and as the elevator got Higher and Higher, the thirst senses were getting stronger and stronger until I came across a locked door, I busted straight through the door and turned the kid's water into Pepsi, and even got sent to a game of Starcraft. Over a year later, Arceus Miyamoto Christ, gave me a second Chance to beat Villains (like You Guys)...


Duck Nukem: We ARE on your side and it's time to STOP!!!

JT: Yeah... Truce?

Pepsiman: Truce...

*Yoshiette 1 gives Pepsiman a Handshake*

*3 Seconds after the handshake starts, Pepsiman rips off Yoshiette's Arm*

YE1: You LIE!!!!!

DN:Time for Action.

*Pepsiman's theme plays as the fight goes on*

Pepsiman does a Back Flip Kick towards Duck Nukem, but misses without Duck Nukem Moving

Joe Tokugawa uses a katana slash in the shape of an X, Pepsiman bleeds Pepsi.

Pepsiman uses his Pepsi Punch on Yoshiette, He misses despite Yoshiette reacting slower Than Pepsiman is Moving.

Duck Nukem does a flying Karate Chop, hitting Pepsiman in the Head, Pepsiman is now confused.

Pepsiman tried to aim his Pepsi Bazooka with double Vision...
Pepsiman fires and misses Joe T. causing the Pepsi to Ricochet around Team Yoshi HQ until it reaches Duck Nukem's mouth,

DN: Damn, Pepsi's some Great Sh*t.

*Yoshiette 1 grabs Pepsiman by the neck and carries him through the window where he Kicked Yoshiette 2 through*

YE1: Will you respect People's Health habits?

Pepsiman: Yes.

YE1: Will you go back to Bullsh*tting young kids just to increase profits, and rebirth Childhood Obesity?

Pepsiman: N-n-n-no...

YE1: and finally, Will you give up the Superhero stuff to enjoy retirement with your wife?

Pepsiman: NO!!!!!

*Yoshiette loosens her Grasp*

I mean Yes, yes, here take this as a peace offering...

PSH-ANG!

YE1: Oooooooooo....... Mexican Pepsi...  *places Pepsiman on the couch*


Pepsiman: Hey Joe and Duck, Wanna go to a Strip Club?

JT & DN: Of course...

*Pepsiman, Joe, and Duck, walk down the street*

Theme: Pepsiman!!!!!




Epilogue:

YE1, You're Home early, Aren't you Yoshi-Poo?

AY: Yeah Apparently there was No Peace conference at the United Nations, and we've got a $25,000,000 Debt...

YE1: Want To watch Farewell FamiKa...

*A. Yoshi freezes in place*

Yoshi-poo, are you okay? Should I poke you with a stick?

If you're wondering how the other yoshiette's doing, Well...

Yoshiette 2 (head only): If I can just get close enough to the building, I could survive the rest of the way throu...

*Car smashes up Yoshiette 2's Head*

YE2: Damn...


THE END

Friday, March 3, 2017

Yoshiette Adventures Year 2 #1: Yoshiette vs Pepsiman

1 year & 2 months ago...

AY: DUDE, WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!

Throws Pepsiman out the window with a black hole bomb*

Text below a game of Starcraft: NonUrthGamer86: EWWWWW!!!!! What's next to my guy right now?

YoshietteNum1: I'unno, Just get rid of it!

Pepsiman: Ruhhh Rohhh Raggy!!!!

Theme: PEPSIMAN!!!!!





PRESENT DAY:

Pepsiman: *Rises from his grave video game graveyard* TIME FOR REVENGE TEAM YOSHI, ESPECIALLY YOU YOSHIBETH!!!!!!


*one trip from the graveyard to A.Yoshi HQ later*


*Doorbell rings*

Yoshiette 1: hel.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tackles Pepsiman*

Pepsiman: Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah!!!!!!!
\
YE1: *puts Pepsiman in a camel clutch* I'll never forgive you for turning my boyfriend's water to Pepsi, interrupting my game of starcraft with my friend, and just because!

Pepsiman: I'm on your side, I just wanna talk...

*Yoshiette lets go of Pepsiman*

Wanna watch a movie with Pepsi and Frito Lay products?

YE1: Sure?

I think we should watch "Farewell FamiKamen Rider". A. Yoshi never really wanted to watch it with me...

Joe T.: Before we watch, Let me say this. MY DAD AND I LOVED YOUR COMMERCIALS AS A KID!!!!! Can I have your Autograph, on an old pair of Yoshiette's Shimapan she doesn't wear any...

YE1: Give me that back...

Pepsiman: So, This Kid has a Bra and Panty collection containing entirely all of your old...

YE1: Yep.

Pepsiman: *cringes* I somehow don't want to give the Asian kid my autograph anymore...

*20 minutes in*


So Yoshbeth...

Duck Nukem: WHICH ONE?!?!

YE1: Please call me Yoshiette, or even Yoshiette 1...

Pepsiman: So Yoshiette, Tell me what is your major is at college?

YE1: Game Development.

Pepsiman: Do you like modding FPS games?

YE1: yes, and my favorite games to mod are Unreal, Quake II, Half-Life...

Yoshiette 2: Half-Life 3 confirmed?

YE1: She's kinda annoying, ignore her...

Pepsiman: One last thing, Where's A. Yoshi?

YE1: He's at the United Nations as a speaker at a peace conference...

If I can ask a question, what's your origin story?

Pepsiman: I don't know, Email Pepsico...

JT: What super villains have you faced in your late 90s/early 2000s?

Pepsiman: Probably the FDA, most of the US government, and a lot of state governments. Oh, and me and The Coca-Cola Company butted heads too.

YE2: Who's Under that Mask?

Pepsiman: NOT A MASK! NOT A MASK! NOT A MASK! NOT A MASK! NOT A MASK! *Yoshiette 2 pulls Pepsiman's Lips*

Pepsi... KICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Yoshiette 2 flies through the window, and no one knows where she is*

Never reveal a superhero's identity

DN: You haven't changed at ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

Pepsiman: One character no one likes down, 4 more to go!!!

YE1: This means War!!!



Ooooooo no, Someone looks pissed. Is this the end of Team Yoshi , or can they redeem Pepsiman Before A. Yoshi knows what happened? Stay tuned on the weekend of the 24th, to find out the conclusion (trust me, While the second half of Yoshiette goes to Japan's climax felt like a Light Gun Shooter, This'll have the feel of a fighting game (or an RPG, depending on how I write it))

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Yoshiette Adventures #9: Yoshiette goes to Japan: Part 2: Escape from the Yakuza...

PREVIOUSLY ON YOSHIETTE ADVENTURES...


Yoshiette 1 and Joe Tokugawa, go for a relaxing trip to Japan, But They're both trying to piss off each other, and are now stuck in a Yakuza Hideout, now back to the story.

Yoshiette 1: Joe, let's rock ourselves out of this S&M trap...

Joe Tokugawa: How am I suppose escape with twin handcuffs connecting wrists together with each other...

Yakuza member #1: Trying to Escape will automatically result in execution.

Yakuza member #2: You tell any crew via phone call Team Yoshi that if they don't deliver our 1 Billion, you die...

Meanwhile at A. Yoshi Productions World Headquarters (which is essentially a Budget Penthouse)...

Phone: Ring Ring Ring! Phone call Phone call! Ring Ring Ring! Phone call Phone call! Ring Ring Ring! Phone call Phone call!

A. Yoshi: What?

YE1: Listen to me, I'm going to die in just a few weeks. Unless you can Give me 1 Billion Yen, or $10 Million. So if you can...

AY: HOORAY!!!! 2 LESS PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH!!!!

YE1: NO!!!!! ALL I'M ASKING IS THAT YOU PAY THE RANSOM AND...

AY: I'M BROKE!!!!!! Even if I had that type of money, I'd move to Japan, Get a huge game collection, and live a happy life with...

YE1: Can you get my sister?

AY: Fine...... Ugh....

Yoshiette 2: Yesssss.....

YE1: I'm Trapped in a Yakuza Hideout, and I need either $10 Million, or get someone to...

YE2: Sorry, I Don't Speak Klingon.

YE1: First of all, IT'S NOT KLINGON, SECOND, GET SOMEONE WHO DOES!!!!!

YE2: Duck Nukem, Phone for you...

Yakuza member #2: Joe's turn...

JT: Hey Bro, I was wondering if you could save me from the yakuza..

Duck Nukem: Considering that would require me missing Baywatch, How 'bout...

Yakuza Member #2: Asking outside help to Get you out without Paying is another way to get executed.

As the Execution is pending, weeks go by, and our favorite pervert and our favorite robot intern reflect on their lives...

YE1: No matter what I said, I always loved all my friends at Team Yoshi...

JT: I always wanted to see a private strip show starring Cynthia from Pokemon, Mami Tomoe, Tifa Lockhart, and all the others on my list of top 20 Waifus of mine, Now it May never happen...

YE1: I had a Crush on Chris "Irate Gamer" Bores, now I'll never get to let him know how much I loved him... Oh, and I'll never get to see my fantasy Bores-Rolfe Crossover...

JT: I never got to Become A successful Mangaka at Weekly Shonen Jump...

Yakuza Member #3: It's Execution Day, I gave your friends time to pay up, now you won't live to see 2017...

Later at another part of the Yakuza Hideout...

Yakuza Game Show Host: WELCOME TO...

Audience: WHEEL! OF! EXECUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yakuza Game Show Host: Here we have a duo of idiots, who have no business on our Property!!!! They are 2 time sex offender Joe Tokugawa, and Baka Gaijin (Stupid Foreigner) YoshiBeth...

YE1: It's Yoshiette!!!!!

Can't you use your martial arts skill to spare my life?

JT: No, Sho ga nai (it can't be helped), I can't handle 200 of them...

Yakuza Game Show Host: Up Up Up, talking is yet another "go to the guillotine" card...

You could get out of the hideout for free, but it's small around 2 Dragon Lord's decision spaces....

The other 7 are, Electric Chair, Guillotine, Spike Pit, Gas Chamber, gunshot, Samurai Sword beheading, and hanging...

*Spins Wheel*

YE1: Come on Get out for free...

*45 seconds later*

*Arrow points at the edge of the inside of Get out for free...*

JT: Yes, yesssss....

*Arrow goes through pin landing on Dragon Lord's Decision*

S**T!!!!!!!!!!!

Game Show Host: Time to ask the Dragon Lord...

Open gates of fate...

Game Show Host: Oh Mighty Dragon Lord, How may the execute these 2 clowns

Yakuza Dragon Lord: Hmmmmmm...... Samurai Sword Beheading!!!!!!

*Combination of Frosty the Snowman and Star Wars theme plays*

Santa Claus: CHOCOLATE PUNCH!!!!

Turns Game Show Host into a Chocolate bar...

YE1: Holy...

JT: SANTA-SAMA!!!!!

Santa: SKITTLES FOOT TRAP!!!!!

Get Into My Sleigh FAST!!!!!

Where do you live?

YE1: Penthouse of 4816 Yoshi Street, SimCity, VideoLand...

*Sleigh Flies away*

Dragon Lord: You shall not escape alive!!!! *turns into actual Chinese Dragon*

Santa: Use My Sleigh's Gatling Guns!!!!

YE1: Since when does Your Sleigh have Gatling Guns?

Santa: Long story, just shoot!!!

*Yoshiette and Joe T. Fire Gatling guns at Dragon Lord*

Dragon Lord Health 90%

YE1: Fire at his Claw!!!!

Dragon Lord Health 76%

JT: Fire at his other claw...

Dragon Lord Health 49%

YE1: Attack his 3 Weak Points for Massive Damage!!!!

*Dragon gets ready to Breathe fire 3 times, until actually Defeated*

*Dragon Lord falls*

*Dragon Lord Plays Mario 3 Flute*

*Tornado Takes him home*

Back at A. Yoshi HQ...

YE1: *Sighs* I guess we won't be having Christmas KFC this Year...

???: Did some one say KFC!?

JT: Colonel Sanders!?!?

Colonel Sanders: Yep, my day job for the other 300 something days of the year...

I'll give you my offering of Christmas KFC, just like in Japan.

Time says I have to go, *turns into Santa again* But I'll give you presents...

DN: A VOUCHER FOR BUFFALO WILD WINGS!?!? SWEET!!!!!!

JT: A Pokemon's Own Cynthia Gravure Art Book!? YATTA!!!!!!

YE2: A Complete selection of Viz Sailor Moon DVDs from the Future?!?! RAD!!!!!!

YE1: A NEW SMARTPHONE, AFTER THE OLD ONE GOT SMASHED BY THE YAKUZA!?!? HUZZAH!!!!!!

AY: A $100 STEAM CARD!?!?! THANK YOU SANTA!!!!!


*Into the night sky*

Santa: Have Yourself a very Kentucky Fried Christmas, and A Finger Lickin' Good New Year!!!! Ho Ho Ho!!!!!


MERRY CHRISTMAHANAKWANZA 2016!!!

Yoshiette Adventures will return in 2017

Friday, December 2, 2016

Yoshiette Adventures #8: Yoshiette goes to Japan

DISCLAIMER:
THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE DEPICTION OF GOING TO JAPAN, IF I OFFENDED ANYONE WITH MY EXAGGERATED AND FICTIONALIZED STORY, I DO APOLOGIZE!!!!


Joe Tokugawa: I want to return to Japan since Trump is going to be president in just over a month...

A. Yoshi: Isn't Yoshiette looking for a friend to to japan with? You know, to get Christmas KFC...

JT: Thanks for telling me I should pack...







Before the Flight


Yoshiette 1: OK good, but remove the cocaine.

JT: But I was able to bring it when I lived there...

YE1: Doesn't matter, you're not allowed to bring drugs to Japan.

JT: F**K!!!!!

Midway into the flight

My brother was a sumo wrestler, and he competes in competitive matches. Also he called me a nerd. If you want to see tapes of my brother's matches, feel free to ask.

YE1: OH MY GOD!!!! COULD I BE EVEN MORE BORED FOR 6 AND A HALF HOURS STRAIGHT!!!!

JT: can we visit my father's Country estate in Kyoto?

YE1: Yes, but we're staying in a hotel Tokyo...


Day 1: Tokyo:


Don't you even think about breaking the bank here, or you're fired...

JT: Ummm.... put some sort of dress on, you shouldn't be wearing christmas lingerie in public japan, also no cleavage.

Later at the hotel...

YE1: So let's plan our month here. This week we'll be going all around Tokyo, next week It's Osaka, and for the last few days of the trip we'll be going to your father's country estate...


Day 2: Lunch at Nogata Hope:


JT: Can I get some snacks at the 7 Eleven?

YE1: Maybe later, you'll want to buy everything at the store...

Where do you want to have lunch?

JT: Maybe a ramen shop?

So we both ordered a slightly greasy shio ramen with gyoza dumplings and rice. It's important say Itadakimasu because it's proper manners.

YE1: Let me guess, you don't want want me to slurp?

JT: You Can. Slurp away.

YE1: YIPEE!!!!

Later At Azabu Juban district.

JT: I'm Thirsty, can we go the 7 Eleven?

YE1: There's a Vending Machine by the onsen we're going to, just wait an hour and we'll get our drinks.

10 minutes later

JT: Well this sucks, I'm in a onsen with all guys... well it should be worth it when I get my Sailor Moon Soda...


After the Onsen...


YE1: For dinner we're getting a hot lunch from a vending machine, Sio Ramen, and whatever drink you want...

Buys Hot Onigiri, Fried Chicken and Potato, ramen, and 2 Sailor Moon Sodas.

JT: Let's call a taxi, I don't want to have food on the train.

YE1: I bought some gum from that vending machine, let me have this mint flavored... OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S NOT GUM, IT'S CIGARETTES!!!!!

JT: What was your first clue? That it costs 430 yen, or the fact you saw the Marlboro Logo on the machine?

Later that night

YE1: Tomorrow we're going to have lunch at the Gundam Cafe. then exploring the Akihabara...


Day 3: Akihabara


I love this restaurant, It's kind of a shame Yoshi won't like this because he's such a picky eater.

JT: Can I get a gashapon from this store?

YE1: Yes but only spend 50 bucks...

Later

YOU SPENT HOW MUCH?!

JT: 10,000 yen...

YE1: Next Time if you want something that bad, just use your debit card.

4:00 PM: Super Potato

I Think I'll get my Yoshi Poo a boxed copy of Kirby 64. are you getting anything?

JT: A MSX2, and boxed copies of Metal Gear 2 and SD Snatcher...

Can we just go home so i can get a meal from the 7 Eleven, and fill up my funds.

YE1: No I want to play arcade games at the Sega Gigo.

JT: It'll only take 20 minutes to 7 Eleven and back...

YE1: Fine, just meet me at the Gigo.


20 minutes later


JT: Hello ma'am. want some of my Fanta Melon or Chicken Sandwich

YE1: HOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYO!!!!! Did you have to scare me like that?

Great I lost my playthrough, now I HAVE TO Put in 100 yen to start a new game. Go make yourself scarce, play some games and we'll meet 6:30.

7:00 PM: Pachinko Parlor.

*Whispers* I Think this place is going to give me a seizure.

JT: *Whispers* Me Too, but I want to enjoy the night life...


???: have you seen this guy?

YE1: Yes He's siting next to me.

Mystery man punches both Yoshiette and Joe.

10:00 PM: Undisclosed Location

Yakuza Member: welcome to the Yakuza, here you'll be waiting for your execution and your Yoshi-poo has 3 weeks to pay a 1 Billion Yen Ransom if you want to survive.

YE1: What's 1 billion yen in US Money?

JT: Not Good.


Will Yoshiette 1 and Joe Tokugawa escape from the Yakuza base and have a KFC Christmas, or will they be executed, Find out on the 25h as we conclude this screwed up Story...

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Yoshiette Adventures #7: Yoshiette goes to the Final Cubs game of the season...

Yoshiette 1: I'm Home from the convenience store...

For A. Yoshi, A Steam Card plus a Mountain Dew Game Fuel, For Nukem, Dip and Whiskey, for My Sister, an ice cream sandwich and a monster mutant soda, and for Joe, A Dirty Magazine.

I've also got Cubs vs Indians tickets for me and someone else.

choose a stick.

Yoshiette 2: I got a fairly tall stick, hopefully that's enough...

A. Yoshi: I've got the tallest stick, ahhahaha MACDADDYYYYYY!!!!!!

Duck Nukem: F**K, I'VE GOT THE SHORTEST ONE!!!!!! I HOPE JOE'S IS SHORTER!!!!

Joe Tokugawa: YES!!!! I BEAT YOSHI BY 3cm!!!!!!

Ya know we've been giving Duck Nukem this dip for the past year and I have never knew what it tasted like. They don't have this in Japan.

*Puts Dip Between lower Lip and jaw*

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YE1: If you don't like your dad smoking all the time and the smell of tobacco in pachinko parlors, what makes you think you'll like Nukem's dip?

JT: I Thought it was like candy.

YE1: I Refuse to comment further....




*First Inning*

YE1: This is the tie breaker, so remember to chant "Lets go cubbies" when they're up, when they're on  the verge of striking some one out, just go "STRIKE HIM OUT!!!!!"

*Bottom of the 1st*

Good news, we've got a homer, bad news, Cleveland's being one hell of a team this series...

*After the 1st*

JT: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  CUBS OWNED THIS INNING!!!!!! GO CUBS GO!!!!!!

*Bottom of the 3rd*

Fat lady sits in front of YE and JT

YE1: I CAN'T SEE A DAMNED THING!!!! Good thing I have detachable eyeballs...

JT: So What's the 411 on the Indians?

YE1: They Scored...

JT: S**T!!!!!

*Several Innings Later*

We're so close to making history!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Indians 2 run Homer!!!!!!

JT: F**K!!!!!!!

YE1: Now we're tied, Arceus help us all...

*Late top 9th inning*

Come on score us a run CUBBIES!!!!!!

Umpire: Out! Change!!!!!

JT: Can I go back to Japan and root for the Hashin Tigers Now?


*After the 9th*


YE1: EXTRA INNINGS!!!! AND IT RAINS!!!! WONDERFUL!!!!

DN: Can I go to sleep now, I've got a job at Sam's Parts Shop morning shift tomorrow?

AY: NO!!!! If anyone of us go to sleep, it'll crush Yoshiette....


*After 2 runs from the Cubs*


YE1: Joe, you awake? do I need to poke you with a stick?

JT: ugh uhhhh.... Did the Indians win?

YE1: No, the cubs are winning, and they just need 3 more outs !!!!

Indians score...

JT: All It takes is one homer or 2 run to take it all...

Announcer: up next, GUYER!!!!


YE2: Guyver?

AY: NO, THE ONE WHO TIED THE GAME 2 INNINGS AGO!!!!!


YE1: We're one out away...


Umpire: OUT!!!!!

YE1: CUBS WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!! A HUNDRED YEAR CURSE DONE!!!!!!!

JT: Can We stay at the shady motel for the night, we've been watching since 7 and it's pretty much midnight...


*12:03 am*

YE1: HOLY SH*T MOSQUITOS!!!!!!! CAN I SLEEP IN PEACE!?

*10 years later*


YE1: So how was the "End of the Billy Goat: a Cubs Story"

Yoshiette Jr.: GREAT, I can' wait for it to win an oscar!!!!

*40 Years later*

JT: And That's how the cubs won the world series...

Grandchild: Whatever happened to the Yoshiette?

JT: Let's just say she met a fire...


*5 Years earlier*


Disassembled Yoshiette: Goodbye cruel world, Hopefully you find your dad...


THE END