Yoshiette Adventures #9: Yoshiette goes to Japan: Part 2: Escape from the Yakuza...

PREVIOUSLY ON YOSHIETTE ADVENTURES...


Yoshiette 1 and Joe Tokugawa, go for a relaxing trip to Japan, But They're both trying to piss off each other, and are now stuck in a Yakuza Hideout, now back to the story.

Yoshiette 1: Joe, let's rock ourselves out of this S&M trap...

Joe Tokugawa: How am I suppose escape with twin handcuffs connecting wrists together with each other...

Yakuza member #1: Trying to Escape will automatically result in execution.

Yakuza member #2: You tell any crew via phone call Team Yoshi that if they don't deliver our 1 Billion, you die...

Meanwhile at A. Yoshi Productions World Headquarters (which is essentially a Budget Penthouse)...

Phone: Ring Ring Ring! Phone call Phone call! Ring Ring Ring! Phone call Phone call! Ring Ring Ring! Phone call Phone call!

A. Yoshi: What?

YE1: Listen to me, I'm going to die in just a few weeks. Unless you can Give me 1 Billion Yen, or $10 Million. So if you can...

AY: HOORAY!!!! 2 LESS PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH!!!!

YE1: NO!!!!! ALL I'M ASKING IS THAT YOU PAY THE RANSOM AND...

AY: I'M BROKE!!!!!! Even if I had that type of money, I'd move to Japan, Get a huge game collection, and live a happy life with...

YE1: Can you get my sister?

AY: Fine...... Ugh....

Yoshiette 2: Yesssss.....

YE1: I'm Trapped in a Yakuza Hideout, and I need either $10 Million, or get someone to...

YE2: Sorry, I Don't Speak Klingon.

YE1: First of all, IT'S NOT KLINGON, SECOND, GET SOMEONE WHO DOES!!!!!

YE2: Duck Nukem, Phone for you...

Yakuza member #2: Joe's turn...

JT: Hey Bro, I was wondering if you could save me from the yakuza..

Duck Nukem: Considering that would require me missing Baywatch, How 'bout...

Yakuza Member #2: Asking outside help to Get you out without Paying is another way to get executed.

As the Execution is pending, weeks go by, and our favorite pervert and our favorite robot intern reflect on their lives...

YE1: No matter what I said, I always loved all my friends at Team Yoshi...

JT: I always wanted to see a private strip show starring Cynthia from Pokemon, Mami Tomoe, Tifa Lockhart, and all the others on my list of top 20 Waifus of mine, Now it May never happen...

YE1: I had a Crush on Chris "Irate Gamer" Bores, now I'll never get to let him know how much I loved him... Oh, and I'll never get to see my fantasy Bores-Rolfe Crossover...

JT: I never got to Become A successful Mangaka at Weekly Shonen Jump...

Yakuza Member #3: It's Execution Day, I gave your friends time to pay up, now you won't live to see 2017...

Later at another part of the Yakuza Hideout...

Yakuza Game Show Host: WELCOME TO...

Audience: WHEEL! OF! EXECUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yakuza Game Show Host: Here we have a duo of idiots, who have no business on our Property!!!! They are 2 time sex offender Joe Tokugawa, and Baka Gaijin (Stupid Foreigner) YoshiBeth...

YE1: It's Yoshiette!!!!!

Can't you use your martial arts skill to spare my life?

JT: No, Sho ga nai (it can't be helped), I can't handle 200 of them...

Yakuza Game Show Host: Up Up Up, talking is yet another "go to the guillotine" card...

You could get out of the hideout for free, but it's small around 2 Dragon Lord's decision spaces....

The other 7 are, Electric Chair, Guillotine, Spike Pit, Gas Chamber, gunshot, Samurai Sword beheading, and hanging...

*Spins Wheel*

YE1: Come on Get out for free...

*45 seconds later*

*Arrow points at the edge of the inside of Get out for free...*

JT: Yes, yesssss....

*Arrow goes through pin landing on Dragon Lord's Decision*

S**T!!!!!!!!!!!

Game Show Host: Time to ask the Dragon Lord...

Open gates of fate...

Game Show Host: Oh Mighty Dragon Lord, How may the execute these 2 clowns

Yakuza Dragon Lord: Hmmmmmm...... Samurai Sword Beheading!!!!!!

*Combination of Frosty the Snowman and Star Wars theme plays*

Santa Claus: CHOCOLATE PUNCH!!!!

Turns Game Show Host into a Chocolate bar...

YE1: Holy...

JT: SANTA-SAMA!!!!!

Santa: SKITTLES FOOT TRAP!!!!!

Get Into My Sleigh FAST!!!!!

Where do you live?

YE1: Penthouse of 4816 Yoshi Street, SimCity, VideoLand...

*Sleigh Flies away*

Dragon Lord: You shall not escape alive!!!! *turns into actual Chinese Dragon*

Santa: Use My Sleigh's Gatling Guns!!!!

YE1: Since when does Your Sleigh have Gatling Guns?

Santa: Long story, just shoot!!!

*Yoshiette and Joe T. Fire Gatling guns at Dragon Lord*

Dragon Lord Health 90%

YE1: Fire at his Claw!!!!

Dragon Lord Health 76%

JT: Fire at his other claw...

Dragon Lord Health 49%

YE1: Attack his 3 Weak Points for Massive Damage!!!!

*Dragon gets ready to Breathe fire 3 times, until actually Defeated*

*Dragon Lord falls*

*Dragon Lord Plays Mario 3 Flute*

*Tornado Takes him home*

Back at A. Yoshi HQ...

YE1: *Sighs* I guess we won't be having Christmas KFC this Year...

???: Did some one say KFC!?

JT: Colonel Sanders!?!?

Colonel Sanders: Yep, my day job for the other 300 something days of the year...

I'll give you my offering of Christmas KFC, just like in Japan.

Time says I have to go, *turns into Santa again* But I'll give you presents...

DN: A VOUCHER FOR BUFFALO WILD WINGS!?!? SWEET!!!!!!

JT: A Pokemon's Own Cynthia Gravure Art Book!? YATTA!!!!!!

YE2: A Complete selection of Viz Sailor Moon DVDs from the Future?!?! RAD!!!!!!

YE1: A NEW SMARTPHONE, AFTER THE OLD ONE GOT SMASHED BY THE YAKUZA!?!? HUZZAH!!!!!!

AY: A $100 STEAM CARD!?!?! THANK YOU SANTA!!!!!


*Into the night sky*

Santa: Have Yourself a very Kentucky Fried Christmas, and A Finger Lickin' Good New Year!!!! Ho Ho Ho!!!!!


MERRY CHRISTMAHANAKWANZA 2016!!!

Yoshiette Adventures will return in 2017

Yoshiette Adventures #8: Yoshiette goes to Japan

DISCLAIMER:

THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE DEPICTION OF GOING TO JAPAN, IF I OFFENDED ANYONE WITH MY EXAGGERATED AND FICTIONALIZED STORY, I DO APOLOGIZE!!!!

Joe Tokugawa: I want to return to Japan since Trump is going to be president in just over a month...

A. Yoshi: Isn't Yoshiette looking for a friend to to japan with? You know, to get Christmas KFC...

JT: Thanks for telling me I should pack...

Before the Flight

Yoshiette 1: OK good, but remove the cocaine.

JT: But I was able to bring it when I lived there...

YE1: Doesn't matter, you're not allowed to bring drugs to Japan.

JT: F**K!!!!!

Midway into the flight

My brother was a sumo wrestler, and he competes in competitive matches. Also he called me a nerd. If you want to see tapes of my brother's matches, feel free to ask.

YE1: OH MY GOD!!!! COULD I BE EVEN MORE BORED FOR 6 AND A HALF HOURS STRAIGHT!!!!

JT: can we visit my father's Country estate in Kyoto?

YE1: Yes, but we're staying in a hotel Tokyo...

Day 1: Tokyo:

Don't you even think about breaking the bank here, or you're fired...

JT: Ummm.... put some sort of dress on, you shouldn't be wearing christmas lingerie in public japan, also no cleavage.

Later at the hotel...

YE1: So let's plan our month here. This week we'll be going all around Tokyo, next week It's Osaka, and for the last few days of the trip we'll be going to your father's country estate...

Day 2: Lunch at Nogata Hope:

JT: Can I get some snacks at the 7 Eleven?

YE1: Maybe later, you'll want to buy everything at the store...

Where do you want to have lunch?

JT: Maybe a ramen shop?

So we both ordered a slightly greasy shio ramen with gyoza dumplings and rice. It's important say Itadakimasu because it's proper manners.

YE1: Let me guess, you don't want want me to slurp?

JT: You Can. Slurp away.

YE1: YIPEE!!!!

Later At Azabu Juban district.

JT: I'm Thirsty, can we go the 7 Eleven?

YE1: There's a Vending Machine by the onsen we're going to, just wait an hour and we'll get our drinks.

10 minutes later

JT: Well this sucks, I'm in a onsen with all guys... well it should be worth it when I get my Sailor Moon Soda...

After the Onsen...

YE1: For dinner we're getting a hot lunch from a vending machine, Sio Ramen, and whatever drink you want...

Buys Hot Onigiri, Fried Chicken and Potato, ramen, and 2 Sailor Moon Sodas.

JT: Let's call a taxi, I don't want to have food on the train.

YE1: I bought some gum from that vending machine, let me have this mint flavored... OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S NOT GUM, IT'S CIGARETTES!!!!!

JT: What was your first clue? That it costs 430 yen, or the fact you saw the Marlboro Logo on the machine?

Later that night

YE1: Tomorrow we're going to have lunch at the Gundam Cafe. then exploring the Akihabara...

Day 3: Akihabara

I love this restaurant, It's kind of a shame Yoshi won't like this because he's such a picky eater.

JT: Can I get a gashapon from this store?

YE1: Yes but only spend 50 bucks...

Later

YOU SPENT HOW MUCH?!

JT: 10,000 yen...

YE1: Next Time if you want something that bad, just use your debit card.

4:00 PM: Super Potato

I Think I'll get my Yoshi Poo a boxed copy of Kirby 64. are you getting anything?

JT: A MSX2, and boxed copies of Metal Gear 2 and SD Snatcher...

Can we just go home so i can get a meal from the 7 Eleven, and fill up my funds.

YE1: No I want to play arcade games at the Sega Gigo.

JT: It'll only take 20 minutes to 7 Eleven and back...

YE1: Fine, just meet me at the Gigo.

20 minutes later

JT: Hello ma'am. want some of my Fanta Melon or Chicken Sandwich

YE1: HOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYO!!!!! Did you have to scare me like that?

Great I lost my playthrough, now I HAVE TO Put in 100 yen to start a new game. Go make yourself scarce, play some games and we'll meet 6:30.

7:00 PM: Pachinko Parlor.

*Whispers* I Think this place is going to give me a seizure.

JT: *Whispers* Me Too, but I want to enjoy the night life...

???: have you seen this guy?

YE1: Yes He's siting next to me.

Mystery man punches both Yoshiette and Joe.

10:00 PM: Undisclosed Location

Yakuza Member: welcome to the Yakuza, here you'll be waiting for your execution and your Yoshi-poo has 3 weeks to pay a 1 Billion Yen Ransom if you want to survive.

YE1: What's 1 billion yen in US Money?

JT: Not Good.

Will Yoshiette 1 and Joe Tokugawa escape from the Yakuza base and have a KFC Christmas, or will they be executed, Find out on the 25h as we conclude this screwed up Story...

Yoshiette Adventures #7: Yoshiette goes to the Final Cubs game of the season...

Yoshiette 1: I'm Home from the convenience store...

For A. Yoshi, A Steam Card plus a Mountain Dew Game Fuel, For Nukem, Dip and Whiskey, for My Sister, an ice cream sandwich and a monster mutant soda, and for Joe, A Dirty Magazine.

I've also got Cubs vs Indians tickets for me and someone else.

choose a stick.

Yoshiette 2: I got a fairly tall stick, hopefully that's enough...

A. Yoshi: I've got the tallest stick, ahhahaha MACDADDYYYYYY!!!!!!

Duck Nukem: F**K, I'VE GOT THE SHORTEST ONE!!!!!! I HOPE JOE'S IS SHORTER!!!!

Joe Tokugawa: YES!!!! I BEAT YOSHI BY 3cm!!!!!!

Ya know we've been giving Duck Nukem this dip for the past year and I have never knew what it tasted like. They don't have this in Japan.

*Puts Dip Between lower Lip and jaw*

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YE1: If you don't like your dad smoking all the time and the smell of tobacco in pachinko parlors, what makes you think you'll like Nukem's dip?

JT: I Thought it was like candy.

YE1: I Refuse to comment further....




*First Inning*

YE1: This is the tie breaker, so remember to chant "Lets go cubbies" when they're up, when they're on  the verge of striking some one out, just go "STRIKE HIM OUT!!!!!"

*Bottom of the 1st*

Good news, we've got a homer, bad news, Cleveland's being one hell of a team this series...

*After the 1st*

JT: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  CUBS OWNED THIS INNING!!!!!! GO CUBS GO!!!!!!

*Bottom of the 3rd*

Fat lady sits in front of YE and JT

YE1: I CAN'T SEE A DAMNED THING!!!! Good thing I have detachable eyeballs...

JT: So What's the 411 on the Indians?

YE1: They Scored...

JT: S**T!!!!!

*Several Innings Later*

We're so close to making history!!!!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Indians 2 run Homer!!!!!!

JT: F**K!!!!!!!

YE1: Now we're tied, Arceus help us all...

*Late top 9th inning*

Come on score us a run CUBBIES!!!!!!

Umpire: Out! Change!!!!!

JT: Can I go back to Japan and root for the Hashin Tigers Now?


*After the 9th*


YE1: EXTRA INNINGS!!!! AND IT RAINS!!!! WONDERFUL!!!!

DN: Can I go to sleep now, I've got a job at Sam's Parts Shop morning shift tomorrow?

AY: NO!!!! If anyone of us go to sleep, it'll crush Yoshiette....


*After 2 runs from the Cubs*


YE1: Joe, you awake? do I need to poke you with a stick?

JT: ugh uhhhh.... Did the Indians win?

YE1: No, the cubs are winning, and they just need 3 more outs !!!!

Indians score...

JT: All It takes is one homer or 2 run to take it all...

Announcer: up next, GUYER!!!!


YE2: Guyver?

AY: NO, THE ONE WHO TIED THE GAME 2 INNINGS AGO!!!!!


YE1: We're one out away...


Umpire: OUT!!!!!

YE1: CUBS WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!! A HUNDRED YEAR CURSE DONE!!!!!!!

JT: Can We stay at the shady motel for the night, we've been watching since 7 and it's pretty much midnight...


*12:03 am*

YE1: HOLY SH*T MOSQUITOS!!!!!!! CAN I SLEEP IN PEACE!?

*10 years later*


YE1: So how was the "End of the Billy Goat: a Cubs Story"

Yoshiette Jr.: GREAT, I can' wait for it to win an oscar!!!!

*40 Years later*

JT: And That's how the cubs won the world series...

Grandchild: Whatever happened to the Yoshiette?

JT: Let's just say she met a fire...


*5 Years earlier*


Disassembled Yoshiette: Goodbye cruel world, Hopefully you find your dad...


THE END

Yoshiette Adventures #6: Yoshiette and her friends go to SimCity Oktoberfest...

Yoshiette 1: We've got VIP tickets to SimCity Oktoberfest!!!!

A. Yoshi: How Much did you spend on them?

YE1: They were gifts from the mayor of SimCity...

AY: In that case pack the car!!!!


*At the Park*

All of Team Yoshi: B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, And Bingo was his name-o!!!

YE1: We're here...

Yoshi, You're too young to drink by just over a month, You stay at the arcade and get me a Henry And June Hugging Pillow from the Claw Machine...

Everyone else, tell me what Beer country you want to try and we'll go to it...

*3 Minutes In, Yoshi's Side*

AY: I already spent $2 on this damned infernal machine, and I still haven't gotten my prize...

*3 Minutes In, Yoshiette's Side*

Joe Tokugawa: We're at Kirin Japan's tent, and I never enjoyed sake As much as I did. I could go for more... I WILL!!!!!

YE1: Let's just leave Joey T. To get drunk like bawls and go to other beer stands...

*9 More Minutes In, Yoshi's Side*

AY: God, is it really that hard to get a claw machine prize I can get for like $6 on amazon, plus a small shipping charge?

Bearded man: You've been hogging the machine for 10 minutes, Just let it go!!!!

*9 More Minutes In, Yoshiette's Side*


Duck Nukem: I LOVE RUSSIAN VODKA, GIMME LA RUSSIAN VODKA!!!!!!

Yoshiette 2: Between you and me, Duck's going to get super drunk, amirite Twin Sis?

YE1: Ooooooooooo.....

*27 More Minutes In, Yoshi's Side*

AY: This S**t's better be worth it...

Man: Just give it up, You're not going to win a rigged machine like this.

AY: Then why are you Playing?

Man: Good point.

*27 More Minutes In, Yoshiette's Side*

YE2: Lebanese beer may taste like Crap, but I get to talk to a community of Genies...

YE1: Yeahhhhh, keep being your racist self.

*54 More Minutes In, Yoshi's Side*

AY: Anyone willing to give me tricks for the claw machine?

Man: I'll give you some for going to the back of the line.

Woman: I'll give you them for $100 plus some sexual favors...

Girl: I'll give 'em to you if you vote Trump This election!

AY: Yeahhhhhh, no!!!

*54 More Minutes In, Yoshiette's Side*

YE1: Brocken Jr cosplayer, This isn't an anime convention, change or go home...

Brocken Jr. Cosplayer: Wanna feel my Red Rain of Berlin for saying that?

YE1: Whaaazzzzzattttt Rebecca MacKenzie?

Cosplayer: Who?

YE2: HOLY CRAP, I SEE ACTUAL GENIES!!!! GRANT ME 3 WISHES!!!!!!

JT: Gaben hiiiii, Gaben Hoooooo, Gaben Haaaa, Gaben Haha, Gaben hiiiii, Gaben Hoooooo, Gaben Haaaa, Gaben Haha, Gaben hiiiii, Gaben Hoooooo, Gaben Haaaa, Gaben Haha, Gaben hiiiii, Gaben Hoooooo, Gaben Haaaa, Gaben Haha, Gaben hiiiii, Gaben Hoooooo, Gaben Haaaa, Gaben Haha, Gaben hiiiii, Gaben Hoooooo, Gaben Haaaa, Gaben Haha, Hello, Sale, Ooooooo I Dooooo.... YES YES SALE SALE YAY, HERE WE GO, GABEN GABEN YAY, HERE WE GO, GABEN GABEN GABEN YAY

DN: AHHHHHHHH, TRUMP SUPPORTERS!!!!!!

*30 More Minutes In: Yoshi's side*

Snack Salesman #1: Popcorn! French Fries!

Snack Salesman #2: Ice Cold Sodas!

College Kid: I WAITED 2 HOURS FOR A GO AT IT, AND I'LL KILL YOU IF IT MEANS GETTING A CHANCE AT A PRIZE!!!!

AY: It's okay I've got What I've Wanted...

5 German milks please.

Counter Lady: Wanna make it a case for a $4.99?

AY: Sure...

and so A. Yoshi gave Milk bottles to the rest of Team Yoshi to make them sober, and this happened.

YE1: How was your advent... JESUS CHRIST!!!!!

Mob: Time to tip Team Yoshi's Vehicle and burn it to the ground!!!!!!

Other Mob: Trample them!!!!!







AY: Hey I at least got your hugging pillow...

YE2: EWWWWWWW!!!!

AY: It's not what you think!!!!!

YE2: What is it?

AY: NOT A BODY PILLOW!!!!!

YE2: Oh, It's that pillow...

YE1: How much did ya spend?

AY: $300...

YE1: F**k...


THE END...

Yoshiette Adventures #5: Yoshiette meets Rebecca Mackenzie...

Disclaimer:

THIS IS A (SLIGHTLY EXAGGERATED) SATIRE OF RECENT EVENTS, SO THIS MIGHT OFFEND PEOPLE, READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!

A. Yoshi: Listen up everyone, President Obama is going to make his goodbye speech at SimCity City Hall, so I expect everyone to be on their best beha...

Yoshiette 1: Oh Hai Yoshi...

AY: Oh hel... who's that?

YE1: That's Rebecca Mackenzie, she's my friend on steam, She goes to the same college I do and we just so happened to see each other at the Convenience store when I got milk for the week...

AY: I TOLD YOU NOT TO BOTHER ME AT MY TOP SECRET MEETING, NOW GO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR FRIEND!!!!!

YE1: Ummmm... Kay?


Waitress: Welcome to Bowser's, Home of the Bowser Burger, can I take your order?

YE1: Can I have 1 Bowser Burger and fries?

Waitress: What would you like miss?

Rebecca: I'll have a Goomba dog and a Piranha Plant build your own salad

Waitress: Can I get you something to drink?

YE1: Mountain Dew!

Rebecca: Ummmmmm.... How 'bout a Diet Pepsi for me.

After the Food the Next day...

Rebecca: What does the board say?

YE1: It says, There was how many consoles alive between 1993 and 1997? One of First 5 answerers to get it right gets randomly picked gets a king size tootsie roll. Now let me concentrate, and after this lesson maybe get some glasses...

Professor: Quiet down please! Now as I was saying The Sega Saturn had prematurely died in the West in 1998, it had a...

After Class...

Rebecca: I'm sorry I can't play smash bros with you t'night, It's just I have to study all afternoon, and I have to work a late shift at Hardee's, but if you need anything, DM Me on Steam...

Several days later...

YE1: Wanna play Call of Duty t'night online?

Rebecca: Can't, homework...

8:01 PM

YE1: Wanna play now?

Rebecca: WHY DO YOU KEEP BUGGING ME?!

YE1: BECAUSE YOUR SCHEDULE CHANGES EVERY 5 SECONDS!!!!!

The Next Day...

Apparently I'm unfriended on Facebook by Rebecca, and she's not responding to my emails!!!!

AY: STOP SPAMMING HER!!!! She'll contact you when she's ready...

Now go, I have to complete editing for The A. Yoshi Show episode 2...


The Day after that...


YE1: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I'VE BEEN BLOCKED ON STEAM!!!!!!!!! I'LL NEVER ENJOY COD AGAIN!!!!!!!

Joe Tokugawa gives Yoshiette and Rebecca an Invitation to his Live show to debate...

Several more days later...

This is Joey T. Yeah this is Joey T., Not Joe, or Joeseph, The Joey T. Live SHOW!!!!!!

Joe Tokugawa: Now I've got two besties turned worsties on the Joey T. Live Show... Now The main problem in a Disagreement is a lack of communication... Tell us right now what is most important to you both...

Rebecca: I told Steam That she wouldn't leave me alone, so I took the courtesy of reporting her account to Valve...

YE1: WHAT, NOOOOOO!!!!! I've Got To see if my Precious Steam Games Survived!!!!!

*Checks Profile*

Account Suspended...

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

3 Hours Later...

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!


THE END

Yoshiette Adventures #4: Yoshiette's Experience with Working at McDonald's

A. Yoshi: No you're not getting a job at Bowser's Spicy Hot Dishes, They're not hiring.

Yoshiette 1: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's my next best option?

AY: McDonald's, It's like Bowser's but way lower quality...

YE1: Screw Bowser's, Mcdonald's has Chicken McNuggets, ahhhhhh that pink slime taste...



Several days later...


Manager: Congrats Yoshiette, You're hired...

YE1: At least they got my name right this time.


DAY 1:


Welcome to McDonald's can I interest you in a big mac today?

AY: Yoshiette?

YE: Yoshi-poo?

AY: I'll have a Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Sandwich, Plain, with fries.

YE1: Can I interest you in a coke?

AY: Uhhhhhhhhh..... No.

Duck Nukem: WHY THE FALKNER DO YOU ALWAYS ASK THAT!?

YE1: Company policy.

AY: Ignore him, that'll be all...

YE1: Your total is $4.99.

*looks out window* IT IS YOU!!!!! IT'S YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AY: CALM DOWN, Just Gimme my food...

YE1: Here...

AY: Thank yo... What the hell, why is there stuff on my food?

YE1: Because Cook didn't understand your order...

AY: Can I at least get it changed?

YE1: No, You wouldn't accept my date request, besides I've already gotcho money.

AY: Screw this, I'm never eating here again!!!!!


DAY 2:


Old lady: I've got a order for a 20pc Chicken McNugget, Hurry up, chop chop!


*2 minutes later*

YE1: one 20 piecer...

Old Lady: Wait, where's the food?

YE1: *Burps* I don't know, they might've vanished?

Ok I'll get a real 20 Piecer...


several days later...


Ohhhhhh, I feel like I've gotten fatter, Gotta stop eating all those McNuggets... Ah who am I kidding...


DAY 33 ⅓:


Manager: Well, since you ate so much of our Chicken McNugget supply, we've got no choice but to fi...

*Yoshiette explodes*

re youuuuuuu. Frak, just frak....


*Yoshiette ascends to the heavens*

YE1: I see McDonaldLand...

This truly is heaven...

I see Chicken McNuggets...

McNugget Buddies: No no no no!!!!!!

*Yoshiette eats the McNugget Buddies*

Fies and Cookies: For the Love of S**T, TELL The McDonald's gang...

YE1: Birdie, Do you taste like real Fried Chicken uncooked?

*Earthbound encounter sound plays*

Yoshiette uses shotgun.

attack misses...

Hamburglar throws hamburger

Grimace throws shake

Birdie throws hot cakes

Professor throws Chicken McNuggets (which Yoshiette eats Immediately)

Captain Crook Throws Filet'O'Fish

Ronald McDonald uses ban hammer!!!!


*Yoshiette falls through the clouds and ends up in hell...*

Green Fry Kid: Burn In hell ya bastard...

Billboard for McDonaldLand vandalized to have slogan say meanest place on earth instead of happiest place on earth...



*Later in hell*

YE1: Come at me ya demons!!!!

*Imps and demons from Doom come in droves*

*Imps and demons eat Yoshiette*

Game Over



THE END

Yoshiette Adventures #3: Yoshiette's Road Trip To SDCC

Yoshiette 1: We're going on a team roadtrip to San Diego Comic Con!!!!!

A. Yoshi: Minus me, I've got Jury Duty!!!!

YE1: Great what am I going do to with this extra ticket I payed good money for?

Joe Tokugawa: Use it on my Mami Tomoe Body Pillow.

YE1: Ummmmmm.... Okay?




1 hour in:


All 4: Spider Man! Spider Man! Does whatever a Spider Can! Spins a web, any si...

Duck Nukem: Well Crap, We're stuck in heavy traffic for another 5 miles...

30 minutes later

YE1: Really? A GOOSE CROSSING!!!!!! WHO'S DUMB ORDINANCE WAS THAT!!!!!


3 more hours in:


Yoshiette 2: I have to use the bathroom!!!!

YE1: Fine...

Time to Fill Up!!!!

JT: Anyone wanna get a candy bar or a pop?

YE1: No we're Getting food later tonight...


5 More Hours in:


Waitress: Hi Welcome to Bowser's, home of the Bowser Burger, How can I help you?

YE1: Can I have 4 Bowser burgers, with boss sized fries and boss sized drinks?

Waitress: What drinks do you want?

YE1: 2 Pepsis, 1 Mountain Dew, and a Dr. Pepper.

Once the food comes, Yoshiette 2 eats it all...

YE1: Can I get a voucher for a free meal for the lost food?

Waitress: If you think I'm going to confiscate for the lost food, you locomotive?

YE1: SCREW YOU, I REFUSE TO EAT HERE AGAIN!!!!

3 Hours later:

JT: It's okay, we're at a hotel and I have alkaseltzer to relive your stomach.

Sing with me...

JT and YE2: *Slowly and quietly* Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz, Oh what a relieve it is.

JT: Drink Up.

YE2: *Burps out fire*

DN: Be Careful, You're going to burn up the F**KING place!


Day 2:


YE1: Whatcha looking at me like that for?

*Driver Stares*

YE1: Highway race!!!

Put some Highway Race tunes on:

JT: TIME TO PLAY SOME F ZERO!!!!

C'MON, BLUE FALCON!!!!!!

D-Bag Driver: FIRE HOMING PROJECTILE!!!!!

YE1: Minivan SPEED MACH 3!!!!!

Oil Slick!!!!

Minivan Speed MACH 7!!!!!


*Cop Sirens sound*

YE2: WE'RE BEING CHASED!!!!!!!!

YE1: Minivan Speed MACH 13!!!!!!

*3 Minutes later in Reno*

YE2: Is this San Diego?

JT: Depends, Does San Diego have this many casinos? I'm sorry, I've only been in America for just under a year...

DN: SDCC Tickets on red...

Roulette Master: Black...

DN: UGH!!!!

YE1: NO MORE BETTING, NO CRAPS, B-JACK, SLOTS OR HORSE RACING!!!!!

JT: We're going to miss our flight!!!!!


*2 hours later*

YE1: Finally at San Diego Comic-Con!

Ticket Person: Ticket please!

YE1: Oh S**t, We Don't have them!

JT: Duck, Don't tell me you bet and lost our...

DN: Oh Yeah!

YE2: F**K!!!


Cops: Yoshiette, You are wanted in at least six countries and are on the FBI's Most Wanted list. We've got a fresh cold jail cell for you and your Cronies.

Meanwhile in an undisclosed location...

YE1: Hello This is Yoshiette calling from prison, We might be here for another 50 years...

AY: *Excited sounding* Do I Sound Worried?

JT: Life Sucks...


THE END

Yoshiette Adventures #2: Yoshiette goes to E3...

Yoshiette 1: Guess who's going to E3 besides you...

A. Yoshi: Again?

YE1: Yep. Keep Joe, Duck, and my dumbass sister company...



Day 1:


YE1: Do you know where I can find some Tracer Booth Babes?

E3 Worker: That's not happening this year. We're trying to be more woman friendly these past few years.

YE1: Damned SJWs!!!!

Can you at least point me to the Zelda to the Zelda Wii U demo...

E3 Worker: down the corner up the hallway.

YE1: S**t, the line's long...

*One long line and a 30 minute gameplay session later later*

This game's good, but needs more female Link.

Next player in line: What Kind of SJW are you?

YE1: I'unno, but who's up for White Castle corn dogs t'night?

Later that night...

Alright you ladies, if Nintendo's treehouse sucks this year, we're going tribal.



Day 2:


Reggie from Nintendo: So that's it for Nintendo's Treehouse, if you missed any of it, please watch the entire event from our YouTube Page...

Yoshiette 1: GOING... TRIBAL!!!!!!!

*Tarzan Yell*

NBC Newsman: Nerf weapons, Undies, and Hatsune Miku. All this as we take a look at the rampant mad women at E3 tonight at 10...

YE1: Great I've been kicked out of E3 This year. I have a lot to prove if I want to go next year... Ah well the Super 8's got a nice view of the ocean...

*looking at the Hotel Pool*



Day 3:


Reggie: For NX it's not about specs, It's about content...

YE1: OK THAT'S IT!!!! GAME ARMOR ON!!!! NES BELT!!!! UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A START!!!!! TO NINTENDO AMERICA HQ, AHOY!!!!!

*Flies*

NES BELT! CHANGE INTO TRACER OVERWATCH LINGERIE!!!!

Here I am at Reggie's Office, going to make his life a living hell when he returns to Seattle.

Policeman: What do you think I'm going to ask you to do?

YE1: Can ya please tell me, I can't read minds...

Policeman: Yeahhhhhhh..... You're under arrest.

YE1: Yoshi better Bail me out...



The End

Yoshiette Adventures #1: Yoshiette works at Taco Bell

Yoshiette 1: But I don't want to get a job!!!

A. Yoshi: I need money for manga, anime, games, TV shows, and movies... Go Now!!!!

YE1: Taco Bell, now hiring, Hmmmmmm...



Several days later...


Manager: Congrats, YoshiBeth, You're hired.

DAY 1:

YE1: Welcome to Taco Bell, can I take your order?

Woman: Yeah can I just get an order of fries?

YE: Uhhhhhh... No, we don't serve fries.

Woman: Can you at least make sure I get that coca cola on time?

YE1: You mean Pepsi? Of...

Woman: No I meant Coke?

YE1: I'm sorry, We don't serve coke products here...

Woman: Do you serve anything here?

YE1: That depends, What are you craving?

Woman: I've got no time for this...

DAY 2:

Manager: Since you pretty much sucked at Drive Thru duty, I recommend you go to Register duty.

YE1: Welcome to taco bell? I'm Yoshiette. How can I help you today?

Kid: Excuse me, but I thought your name was Yoshibeth...

YE1: No, It is indeed Yoshiette.

Kid: What kind of name is that?

YE1: It's a none of your business kind of name!

Kid: Excuse me?

YE1: I can lock you up in the freezer and turn you into a popsicle...

Kid: I'm going to tell my mom, and you're going to get fired!!!!!

YE1: Your Mom's a F**KING WH*RE!!!!!

DAY 3:

Manager: Now it's time for a lil' Cooking...

12:35 PM

Why is Everyone getting sick?

YE1: I put horse crap in the meat, Because that's what your meat is, it may be Grade D meat, but it is Grade A Horse S**t...

Manager: New job, tomorrow, go home, now!!!!

DAY 4:

YE1: EWWWWW, Someone left Taco sauce on this section of tile!!!!

Manager: Clean it up...

YE1: I'm allergic to your Taco Sauce.

Manager: Then why did you work here?

YE1: Screw you!!!!

Manager: You can't clean someone else's GOD DAMN MESS, But you can put horse crap in our food because you think it's funny?

DAY 5:

Manager: You're working a multitasking late shift tonight, I expect you to get stuff don tonight...

YE1: Fine, Whadahell...

12:06 AM

*Bee Gees start playing*

YE1: DAMN JOHN TRAVOLTA, YOU'VE STILL GOT THE GOODS!!!!

FREE BEER ALL NIGHT!!!!

DAY 6:

Manager: I've came back from saturday night partying to see how you're do...

*Looks at the hung over deadbeat mess of a restaurant*


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


THE END