DISCLAIMER:
WHILE THERE IS SOCIAL COMMENTARY IN THIS SEGMENT, THIS IS NOT MEANT TO THREATEN, ATTACK, OR BOYCOTT ANY COMPANY, PERSON, ENTITY, OR ORGANIZATION!!!! BUT IF YOU'RE A NINTENDRONE, SJW, ETC. TURN BACK RIGHT NOW!!! THIS BLOG IS NOT MEANT TO SHOW FAVORITISM OR WHATEVER I'M GOING TO BE ACCUSED OF FROM THESE MORONS!!!!
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!
Yoshiette 1: Thanks for the joy ride girls...
Princess Peach: Off to the strip club, Girlz!!!
Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, and Pauline: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duck Nukem: I get the feeling that you didn't put all the characters that escaped the drawings from SCCC back...
YE1: No worries, they'll be put back in the next TGS or NYCC...
DN: Now don't bug me versing Yoshiette 2 in a DDR 27 out of 52 match!!!
YE1: Joey T., Wanna team up to get to the NoA Ark?
Joe T. Yes, I know you're sign is Scorpio, that means nothing, I have 39 other callers to get to, bye...
At A. Yoshi's Office...
YE1: Yoshi-Poo, wanna go to the NoA Ark to send a complaint letter to the Nintendo's Treehouse unit?
A. Yoshi: Hun, I have other priorities, than ruining my reputation with the media.
*door knocking*
YE1: Come in.
*Pokemon XD Cipher Admin Encounter music plays*
Crash Bandicoot: Don't ask why I'm here, just join me!
We're ridin' Route 66 Mutha Frakka's!!!!
I even gotcha a new set of wheels!!!
YE1: Cool, the Hornet! Does play the ...
*inserts key, and turns the ignition on*
Radio: Do do do do do do do! Daytona! Daytona! Let's go away!
YE1: It does!!!
Crash: I've kicked Sonic's Ass, now it's Time for the Kick Mario's ASS game!!!!
*Daytona USA's "Let's Go Away" song plays as the roadmap is traced*
At the Nokia Theater, Crash fills the outside of the theater with a poorly drawn Crash Bandicoot flipping the bird with the message: Dear Nintendo, U SUK, EVRY 3RD PARY N DA WURLD!!!
YE1: Dude, not cool, Nintendo's gonna be on our Sh*t list if we ruin their reputation out of spite...
Crash: Who's leading this operation here?
Now time for my tunes.
*Funimation 2003-2005 Dragon Ball GT Theme plays*
Too franchise derailing!
*Daytona USA theme plays again*
We already played that song!
*Crash Bandicoot cover of "You're not Me" only dissing Nintendo plays*
Perfect...
YE1: Cool Blue Eyes White Dragon cycle, Where Didja get it?
Crash: I won it in an auction at the Yu-Gi-Oh 20th anniversary party only available to Konami Shareholders!!!
YE1: I thought Konami...
Crash: Exactly... How 'bout that N64, PS1, Dreamcast, M2, And mid to late 90s Windows Logo?
YE1: Joe-Sama of Team Yoshi made it as way to show pride of the generation of gaming that the leader (Yoshi-Poo) into gaming.
*Road Map with a trail between LA to Seattle displays*
Crash: Welp, here we are...
Yoshiette, I see your car, but not...
YE1: *Hums the Super Mario Bros theme*
Transmission Device Lady: Will E3164 come to booth 8
YE1: 2 Down, only 256,810 people ahead of me...
Crash: F*CK DAT NOISE!!!!
*Beats up the security*
Yoshiette 1: I've only got one shot at this...
*Temple Run music from Legends of the Hidden Temple (the 1993 game show, not the TV Movie nobody cared for)*
Automated Voice: INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!
YE1: Dude, I have a letter I've got to send to Nintendo Treehouse guys!
*Later at Nintendo Treehouse's main office*
YE1: It's all or Nothing...
*DBZ Ending Music plays*
Kyle Hebert: As Yoshiette reluctantly reaches the Nintendo Treehouse's main office and Crash Bandicoot Throws a sledgehammer into the Nintendo whitelist and blacklist machine (which is color TV Game 6 only with 2 places the right paddle to go and the left paddle can go anywhere but if it misses, it counts as a mistrial), will Yoshiette make Nintendo great again? find out in the next...
*Narrator Guy appears*
Narrator: I can't have a coffee break for 5 minutes and people think I disappeared. Anyhoo, My Girlfriend's got a few choice words for you...
*Robed figure appears*
Kyle H.: Andros from Power Rangers?
*Black Boxing Gloves appear through the sleeves*
I'm So Dead!
*Figure unhoods herself*
Oh it's a girl, how do I fight her...
???: I may be a 20 something dealing with student debt to pay, but I've got 2 words for you?
*Takes off the robe revealing a pink Bikini*
Let's Rocket!!!
Narrator: Let's see how Yoshiette's doing...
YE1: Look, I know that the change of artwork was a last minute decision, but if Nintendo of America release the game like that, soon they'll have to censor more. Koei Tecmo was one of the first ones to stick to such a low standard, and if you handle things like you are right now, SJWs will ruin gaming, and gamers are just going to say "F*ck this hobby.", because they have no power over what get's released in what part of the world in what way. Think of who this'll REALLY Benefit, the Gamers, The SJWs, or yourselves?
Nintendo Treehouse head: Hmmmm..... I'll have to get back to Reggie on this...
YE1: Now onto whoever runs IP management and Whoever handles hardware (including online play, paying for a service that Sega could've done better with a late 90s console, Aye yi yi)...
Epilogue:
Weeks after the NoA Raid of Summer 2017:
Crash Bandicoot Costume Guy: Hey Plumber Boy, Guess Who's system is getting released on every relevant system other than your's. Mine! I guess your body wasn't ready for that, well MINE WA...
*Trap Door Activates*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! CRAP!
Christmas 2017:
AY: I hope Col. Sanders got me a Switch...
*Opens the box to reveal a box of Dog biscuits*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NINTENDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END
THIS IS A VERY EXAGGERATED AND FICTIONALIZED STORY, NOT MEANT TO REPRESENT ANY EVENTS, PERSONS, ETC. NO HUMANS, ANDROIDS, ANIMALS, OR WHATEVER ELSE WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FEATURE...
